Oh, it gets real, people. Super real.
As sort of an added bonus, she casually mentions that 1990s L.A. has things like detonators and he should get one. He's totally onboard without actually knowing what one is and that's what kicks our story off.
Through events that really and truly don't matter, the action gets relocated in 90sish L.A. and our girl is forced to take the villains shopping.
Feel free to read that sentence over and over. Its not going to make more sense.
She takes them shopping and Beastmaster's brother is talked into trying on a suit by a fake French accented salesman.
I've never been involved in a criminal investigation here in Los Angeles, but I'd like to think that when one happens, the head detective looks around at the damage, hears about a possibly homicidal maniac, shrugs and goes, "I'll write up some paperwork for Monday."
Dar's brother has a neat trick that's not in anyway ripped off from Spock that involves mind melding. He simply transfers any knowledge someone might have by forcing his fingers deep into someone's face.
With this completely original technique that has never been seen before in a movie or tv series, Dar's brother learns that there's a bomb hidden at a military facility somewhere in the larger Los Angeles area.
It was a little like a sitcom in training:
"Honey, where's my fake mustache for our military encampment heist?"
"I thought that was your mom's!"
End scene. (didn't actually happen, but this movie makes you daydream about things you'd rather be seeing)
Which leads us to the final scene...
Because Dar doesn't know how to do anything on his own, he forces animals to once again, do all of his dirty work, which is them telling him that his brother is hiding out at the L.A. Zoo.
And then a laser light show starts, so naturally this music video battle without the music begins.
It comes time for goodbyes (time portals aren't always hanging around hoping people will jump through them after all) when there's a really awkward exchange where a spunky Cali teen asks out grizzled and moist Beastmaster on a date for the next time he's in town.
He gently turns her down but gives her the best consolation prize of them all...
(Spoiler alert: Telling you what you think and ordering you to do all of his dirty work.)