TOP FIVE: A Exploration of David Spade

I set off to write about David Spade’s 1999 movie Lost and Found, because I am an unabashed David Spade fan and I completely bought that he could date both strippers and French cello players. And run a restaurant.  And be a reluctant mentor to Artie Lange. There is nothing my David cannot do, and I won’t be convinced otherwise. Until I tried to watch Lost and Found again, because that movie does not hold up well. You know what? I am undeterred in my belief that David Spade is an underappreciated thespian who, if the world were fair, might end up being my third husband. I present to you, a top 5 list of movies (NOT including 1995’s Tommy Boy, because that’s obvious and we aren’t lazy) where David Spade is perfectly enjoyable:

1.      1.Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) – This is David’s first acting credit, and at the tender age of 23 he simply sparkles as Kyle, a troublemaking skateboarder who is recruited to be one of the aforementioned “Citizens on Patrol.” Look at his hair flipped in full 80s/Farrah Fawcett glory.  Fun trivia fact: Tony Hawk was fired from being David’s skateboarding stunt double because he was too tall. So much charisma in such a small package.

1.       Reality Bites (1994) – I know what you’re thinking – “wait, was he even in that?” The answer is yes, uncredited in one scene. True, it’s not exactly a David Spade vehicle, so much as an amuse-bouche of the charming sarcasm that he would come to be known for. As the Manager of a well-known hotdog chain, David puts Winona Ryder in her place. You can tell she thinks she is too good for the job, and his witty banter quickly lets her know that her degree in Media Studies is as worthless as we all know it is. I’m also left wondering about this character. What are the hopes and dreams of this hot dog vendor Manager? That’s a movie, and a classically American story, I’d like to see.

1.       The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)  - Yeah, I was 19 and saw this cartoon in the theater just because David Spade was the star. Maybe you’re the one who needs to find something better to do with her life.  There’s not a lot of story here: Emperor wants to build a waterslide on peasant’s house. Ertha Kitt turns Emperor into a llama. Peasant helps turn him back into an Emperor, and the waterslide gets build on the next hill over. I’m going to dock points because this film obviously lacks historical accuracy, but playwright David Mamet has said he considers the script for this film to be one of the most brilliantly innovative which Hollywood has produced in recent years. You be the judge.  

1.       Joe Dirt (2001) – I like this film, because Spade veers off the well-worn road of biting sarcasm into naked earnestness. His mullet is visually stunning, and David Spade and Fred Wolf are master wordsmiths. This film holds up, and teaches a few lessons along the way. Life’s a garden, dig it? You can’t have no in your heart. 

1.       Hotel Transylvania 2 (2015) – Why Hotel Transylvania 2? Because Netflix doesn’t think it’s necessary that I see the original, so this is all I’ve got. It’s another ensemble movie, but there’s just enough David Spade sprinkled in that when my kid insists on watching in for the 300^th time, I’m game. He plays the invisible man, so he has only his voice to convey the depth of his character.

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For Your Consideration: SUNDAY SCHOOL MUSICAL (2008)

Last week, we examined what happens when Christians make a movie for Christians. This week, we examine when Christians make a movie for teen Christians and try to be cool about it. 

Long ago, roughly 7 years, a group of middle aged white men, got together in a house, probably somewhere far far away from Hollywood, rolled up their short sleeve button down shirts and mused, "What do kids like these days?"

And one of them said, "My daughter likes that Zac Efron punk. Also musicals. With teenagers."

And with a snap of the fingers, Sunday School Musical became an official thing and this week's Netflix find.

"Look, if you just tell teenagers that you can't have "worship" without being "hip" they won't know. So write it a bunch of times."

Hey kids - here's cool kids being cool!

 If you've seen High School Musical, its kids in high school and they're singing, but there's some conflict and color coordinated track suits. Also Zac Efron is worried that people will judge his manliness for wanting to skip around a stage with the girls.

That's not what happens here.

There's a choir from a "urban" neighborhood and a choir from a "better" neighborhood. One is by the book and terrible, and the other is really in touch with their funky hip hop selves. Given that this is a movie called Sunday School Musical, start putting your bets on them uniting. Because it will pay off.

"Teenagers like it when you come together. Its in that song from that movie your daughter likes."

To say this movie was made on a budget is an understatement.  The painfully handscrawled banners and the poor sound design alone...

 Not to mention this is a regional choir competition, that only had two choirs competing.

 These actors just realized that their careers have come to a screeching halt.

These kids however...well, they're on to something.

We have our hero, who's name I didn't catch and his choir mate, passing rhymes and catching beats in the squeakiest cleanest way possible. They're bonded by their love of choir. Nothing will tear that apart.

"Kids, we're being kicked out of our house and moving to a much nicer neighborhood where you'll be going somewhere with a lesser choir. Deal with it."

Despite the fact that the competing choir is at a high school, eliminating the meaning of it being a Sunday School Musical, the adults apparently have no interest in it. Which is why they have a high school girl named Savannah in charge of their music program.

Please note that Savannah's father has the classic Youth Pastor look. The button down shirt says he's ready to buckle down and worship, but the frosted hair says, he's down to jive with God's awesome word.

What happens when you let the "urban" kid into your choir rehearsal?

Its going to be a boogie breakdown.

He brings in his Justin Timberlakeyness and blows everyone's minds.

Not every member is onboard with these flashy rock and roll ways.  Like this guy. Who also compares the only "urban" kid in school to Judas.

It happened. Because the filmmakers are "hip".

With all the care and love that was lavished on the story,  apparently there were some filmmaking details that got left in the dust....

Like this character's mic pack sticking out of her jeans.

High School Musical wasn't the only thing that got ripped off.  A Grease moment totally happened here in this high school that only has 8 students in their roster.

I'm concerned about these high schoolers, who have been lying to us this whole time and have been held back and are actually attending an ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

The school has repressed his inner rhythm and therefore he goes to the bathroom to do the robot and whatever dance moves the kids do these days.  Not that I know - the filmmakers would, so ask them.  Apparently, they're really "hip."

Choirs unite! We've been waiting for this moment. Thankfully, its awkward and uncoordinated, complete with bad lip synching.

Its time for the big "States" competition. Do we know which states? Why not national?

Here are the judges - hardcore choir experts who have been with so many choirs and have so many hardcore stories involving tours, harmonies, host families and church community hot dish (if you're from the Midwest, you'll get that.)

And the united choir brought their game AND their blue shirts of varying hues.

Not like the competing choir from a more "urban" area, showing off their red.

Super cool Youth Pastor Dad gives his seal of approval.  They totally rocked this Sunday School.

At that point, the makers of Sunday School Musical patted themselves on the backs and knew, they had reached a generation and they're teenage children would finally accept them as one of their own.

Stay tuned for when these intrepid filmmakers realize that teenagers like vampires and release Sunday School Twilight. It is going to be so fetch.