SPICE WORLD (1998)

Netflixers, rejoice... the Spice Girls will forever be around with just a touch of your remote.  Or at least until Sony decides to pull it from the queue.

I'll admit something to you. I had never seen this movie. It just never happened.

I remember the Spice Girls, as we all do. As much as I downplayed their style, I secretly admired it and wished I could wad my Irish frizzy hair into kicky hornbuns. And secretly, I hummed those songs and stole my friend's boyfriend's copy of their first album and didn't give it back until months and months later. But that's another story for another blog (tentatively titled Things I Liked Born Out of Practical Jokes)

Here's what I discovered from watching this movie. You don't need a plot - just lots of ideas strung together, complete with the Spice Girls in different outfits in every scene.  This makes a difference in some movies. This was the one movie where I didn't mind it.

Possibly because this movie was based on an idea and they just ran with it.  The movie told me so.

The only purpose I had for posting this picture is because it made Victoria Beckham look like even more of an alien than she already does.

Here's what this movie truly excels at - showing us a disproportionately huge living area that's bigger than my apartment -- inside a double decker bus.

There's a living room that comfortably sits every you know and possibly ever met....

Also a swing set and room for any size platform you'd want on your shoes.

 

Maybe on the buses you grew up with, they had one of those pesky "No horseplay" rules. Not for the Spice Girls. When designing the bus they stayed on the concept of horseplay and just built up from there.

There's also a minor subplot about a documentary crew trying to find the essence of what makes the Spice Girls the Spice Girls. Frankly, he could have saved himself a lot of time and trouble just by watching ABBA: The Movie (those in the know can tell you that that had the exact same plot).

Unrelated, but the chairs are pretty awesome.

And lest you think the Spice Girls are too self involved, here they are rousing a teenage boy from a coma.

The other thing this movie has? Cameos. Spades of cameos from famous British people. 

Like Bob Geldof!

 And Elton John!

 Stephen Fry! He condemns them to a lifetime of reality shows and non charting singles (strangely

Dr. House!

Jennifer Saunders!

Meatloaf!

NORM!!

The distinctive thing about the Spice Girls is not only their fierce girl power cry but they truly want equal rights for everyone.  So when they notice that their backup dancers aren't wearing enough, they make a stand....

 Remember kids. Speak out for what's right. Sometimes The Man tries to fix it for you.

Sometimes.

 That being said, I am fully onboard with the fashion but have minor qualms about this weird astronaut jacket that Scary Spice wears during rehearsals.

...not to mention the color vomited sheets she put on to do their weird WWII bootcamp class.

I'm calling this out though - women dressing and acting like children. Its creepy and I just don't get it.

Maybe you're asking yourself, "Hey Netflix subscriber! I've never seen this movie. You haven't said what its about!"

Gentle movie watcher - know this when I say, it doesn't matter. You will sit through 90 minutes of heavily made up mugging, women playing dress up and things like aliens showing up for their autograph and you will realize....

It doesn't matter. Seriously.

And they have no problem taunting you with movies that did have actual plots.

In case you missed it...the Spice Girls were visited by aliens. They got an autograph and left.

Now back to our "story"...

SERIOUS FACE - we are ACTING...

Sometimes the movie makes a quick detour into another possible movie and then we get back to what we do best...

...which is pondering whatever question the movie gets ready to pose.

At that point in the movie, a man broke into their stately manor through the toilet. Maybe an homage to Trainspotting?

And Roger Moore plotted their demise. But will they make it to the big show in time?

Its iffy, especially with so much zaniness.

There was a bomb on the bus. It was kind of a high tension moment.

And their untalented friend who tags along, had a baby. They helped and it was a girl, ensuring that their brand of girl power extends among the generations. In case you're wondering, the baby was not a famous baby cameo.

They make it to the show and sing "Spice Up Your Life", which is ironic because THEY JUST DID.

Even more ironic...

We weren't watching a movie, we were watching the brainstorming session between the Spice Girls' manager, a big time Hollywood guy and a screenwriter. TWIST.

Sadly, very realistic to most pitch meetings.

We're left with the Spice Girls peering into our souls and asking the important question of "Who's really watching us? Who is truly entertained?" and "Will Ginger Spice ever wear actual pants?"

All in all, I totally recommend. I'll warn you though...

The book is way better than the movie.


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