So apologies to 1980s Deathstalker classic , but I can't pass up the opportunity to delve into this.
|Oh, this guy will have his day. I promise.|
The story involves a girl named Judith who dreams of being a marriage counselor, yet cheats on her husband with a guy who's claim to fame is being "the third biggest social media inventor since Facebook."
You heard that right. The third biggest since Facebook. So after Twitter, then MySpace, you can find this guy.
We open on a marriage counselor's office, that resembles more of a high school principal or a legal office...
The counselor starts up the story, "Let me tell you about my sister Judith..." so right away, we're going to be in flashback mode. And immediately, I suspect Judith is the oneactually telling the story.
We're told that there's a love for the ages....
According to the flashback, Judith and Brice make the transition from small town to Washington DC where she dreams of being a marriage counselor and he dreams of working in a small privately owned pharmacy. Which everyone knows that DC is the epicenter for both careers. He gets what he wants but she has to settle for working for Vanessa Williams, aka The Millionaire Matchmaker (aka NOT Patti Stanger).
Also, its time to talk about Kim Kardashian's acting skills. Not that it deserves to be desconstructed...
Now say that line with no emotion, possible no understanding of the words and with the most nasal tone possible and now you can experience the Kim Kardashian Thespian Method.
Put them all together in a room, with the third most important social media inventor. Who isn't being tempted?!?!?
This scene happened when her husband decides to try to romance his wife, naked and with a guitar.
"So, Judith's husband took off his clothes and lip synched to a song. He put on a cowboy hat and had oiled up his chest to make it more appealing in the dim lighting of their low rent apartment."
We need to address what the husband's been doing during the day. He works at a small pharmacy and despite the fact he's known his wife since he was 11, he has forgotten when her birthday is.
His boss is a kindly sassy woman who recommends and freely hands out Valium, making her possibly the worst pharmacist ever, but a beloved resource to Washington DC.
"How does this have to do with my husband's inability to listen to me?" Wife Who Needs Counseling.
During this very ham handed scene, we realize that Judith's boyfriend is actually SATAN (after all, his home is ghoulish and has flames, right?) Someone should probably inform the extras in this scene.
"So Judith was sandwiched in on a tiny couch next to the flames of hell, sucking down some kind of alchohol while a blonde lady looked on...."
Nothing will kill the mood more than that statement.
She also informs him that she was with the same Social Media Inventor (aka Satan) and therefore now has AIDS (by the way, SPOILER ALERT). So they do the logical thing....
The final scene in this mess of preachy nonsense is our intrepid marriage counselor hobbling to her local pharmacy.
"Hey there! Here to pick up your AIDS medicine?"
And then Judith walks away and the movie makes us just watch her go as the scene...peters...out.
Overall, some very important lessons were had from watching Tyler Perry's Temptation: Confession of a Local Pharmacist's Wife Who Contracts HIV. I learned that to never forget a spouse's birthday, don't ask Kim Kardashian to talk and whatever you do, don't pick up your prescriptions from your ex-husband that you cheated on.